My Farewell Talk, Oct 30th, 2022

 Called to Serve

I'm going to just jump right into this, so please keep your hands and feet inside your pew at all times.

 I am so much more confident in sharing my testimony through music, specifically playing my cello. I honestly prefer to play my cello on a stage in front of hundreds of people than talking at a pulpit in front of fewer people. Don’t get me wrong, I do like talking, it just has to be nudged out of me a bit. So just give me a second and I’ll warm up to all the faces looking at me and ears waiting to hear what I have to say. Hopefully it’ll all come together smoothly because I also feel like I’m much better at small chunks of really awesome and well put together thought, and not so much long flowing speeches. That’s the reason I write poems and not novels, I have long term commitment issues with words I guess. So if you don’t remember much about my talk afterwards, that’s fine, I won't hold it against you,( the only reason I’m gonna remember half of this is because I have it written down), I just hope you’ll remember the little chunk that the Spirit touches you with. 

A little while ago I retook the Harry Potter Pottermore quizzes. And while I’m pleased to report that I am a Gryffindor tried and true, there was an ever so slight change to my wand results. And that really intrigued me. My patronus had completely changed, going from a Bay Mare to a Minx. So why? What about my answers to that particular quiz had only changed one small thing about my wand? I did what any good Paradigmer would do, and I did some research. I looked back on my answers to the questions, comparing the first time I answered to now. And you know what? Only one answer changed. How weird is that? It had been 7 years between taking the test and only one thing changed. The question my answer changed to was something like this; “ What trait do you pride yourself on most”?

I remember looking over the seven “trait options” presented to me;  “Determination, Imagination, Resilience, Intelligence, Originality, Optimism, and Kindness”.  I thought long and hard that first time through as a little 13 year old girl, finally settling on “OPTIMISM” as the trait I was most proud of. The second time taking the test, now as a 20 year old, having gone through high school and started my adult life, I didn’t even hesitate before answering “KINDNESS” as the trait I valued most.

I’ve thought a lot about the difference between these two traits since then and why I changed my answer. Let me tell you, I used to be obsessed with being happy. I had this unhealthy need to always be happy and for everyone around me to be happy. Especially when I was younger. I had no idea how to handle any form of negative emotions. It genuinely made me uncomfortable, anxious, and sometimes I’d cry because of it. So I made it my goal to always look for the optimistic option even if it meant I pushed aside the uncomfortable feelings of myself and others. I did what I could to make others forget their hurt and look at the bright side. I did everything I could to never get in trouble or receive any form of criticism. It was only praise and colourful sprinkles for me. And anyone who had a rain cloud above them, I’d throw my sprinkles at them and say “look at how happy these sprinkles are! Don’t worry about your cloud, just ignore it.” Always a cup half full mindset, where the other half of the cup doesn’t matter, we can just ignore that.

I’m learning to accept the messy, unhappy moments. I’ve grown up and can take criticism without completely falling. More so than that, I’ve learned how to set aside unhealthy optimism and really mourn with those around me who need me to mourn with them. And the biggest thing I’ve learned in my almost desperate search for happiness is that even if I'm not currently happy and life sucks, I can still feel the Joy that comes from Christ and keeping my covenants. 

I know that’s a bit confusing; you’re probably thinking, “wait a second Jayden, how can you feel joy when your circumstances cause you to be unhappy? It’s contradictory.” 

I promise you it's not though. At least not the way I understand it. Bare with me for a second while I get a little scholarly. During my senior year my class read an essay that’s essentially about happiness. It was written by Aristotle and is called “Nicomachean Ethics”. In his essay Aristotle talks about the difference between convenient and immediate gratification versus long lasting happiness. The quick watered down version of his essay is basically this, there are things that can bring us temporal happiness that never last and need to constantly be replenished; then there is happiness that comes from within and can’t be attained through trivial things, but that is pure and true. I would call this, the pure and true happiness, the Light and Joy of Christ. 

Our wonderful Prophet, Russell M. Nelson says “ Joy has little to do with the circumstances of  our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” I want to share with you, in no particular order,  some of the focusses of my life that have brought me true Joy.

The first is music. I am eternally grateful that my parents raised me in a musical house and gave me the opportunity to start playing an instrument when I was a young girl. I have felt happiness through music in many different ways. I’ve felt happiness  in those moments when after practicing for so long I finally managed to play through a tricky section without pause. Or when I get to the end of a performance and stand proudly with the rest of the orchestra around me. I’ve especially felt joy while playing songs that have beautiful melodies, harmonies and are filled with excitement and movement. And while those are amazing, none of that happiness compares to the joy I’ve felt while sharing the Light as I play. For those of you who don’t know, a wonderful mentor and friend of mine introduced this concept of “sharing light” during her orchestra and band classes. We were invited, and challenged even, to look up while we were playing. To look away from the music in front of us and instead at those around us who were  also working hard to bring to life the scratches on paper before them. To share not just with our instruments, but with our hearts as well. She helped me learn that music is more than just sound. 

Through music I’ve been able to share my testimony in ways where words fail. I’ve been able to share love and bring joy to those I’ve played with and for. 

Second is my family. I love my family. I love them with all of my soul. I am grateful that I get to be their daughter and sister forever. My family has brought me so much joy.

Let me tell a quick little story. When I was quite young, and my parents had just found out my mom was pregnant again, they asked the big question all older siblings get, “Jayden, do you want a brother or a sister??”. Guess what my response was. “Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.” I like to think that little me just knew she was going to have only brothers and was just so excited! I also think she didn’t quite know what she was getting into being the older sister of three boys. There was a lot of wrestling, most of the time it was all in good jest. I even got pretty buff and was able to pin all three of them down at the same time. Now they’re bigger than me, so we don’t wrestle anymore, ( I’m not taking that chance of being dethroned as wrestling champion). I do get free piggyback rides now though. And while the piggyback rides are fun, they’re not what brings that joy into our home. It’s my parents teaching us how to love and follow the Gospel of Christ. It’s my brothers who have such loving hearts. It’s the moments where we laugh together, where we discuss the scripture stories and learn. Those moments when we can talk and be honest with each other. Their joy gives me strength. One of my biggest joys is seeing my family smile. So they better send me lots of pictures with all those cheesy grins. 

Another way I’ve felt joy is similar to my last one, healthy relationships. Whether that has been with friends, a boyfriend and his family, extended family, or wonderful people I’ve met while working in the Temple. 

~~Side tangent real quick. The Temple is beautiful. It is a perfect place to feel God’s love and joy. The last 5 weeks, I was able to serve there on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And honestly, I think serving in the Temple was the best mission prep I could have had. I was constantly surrounded by the Spirit. I have gained a deeper appreciation and understanding of those sacred and necessary ordinances of the Temple. And there is a special kind of joy that comes when serving in the house of the Lord; working to help bring into the New and Everlasting Covenant for all those brothers and sisters who did not receive that chance while on this earth,  and  help them receive the blessings thereof. I hope to feel that joy again as I serve my mission and bring the people I meet in South Carolina closer to God and Christ. ~~

Okay, swinging back from that tangent, the joy that has come from surrounding myself with these people often carries me. I am blessed to know so many wonderful people. 

While these are all pieces of my life and major components to the long lasting joy I have inside of me, Jesus Christ and his Gospel are the true source of joy. I stated earlier that I used to have a “glass half full” mindset. But with Christ, I now see the glass not for how full it is, but that it has water. Because the most important thing isn’t how filled up the glass is, it’s just that there is water. And not just any water, but the water of the Living Christ. The water, that as Christ Himself tells the woman at the well  in John 4:14, that with His water we shall never thirst. 

Isaiah tells us that “with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.” Drawing water out of Christs’ well and having that joy comes from living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. By living the commandments, covenanting and keeping those covenants with God, by being a disciple of Christ, and standing tall with faith. 

Joy in the scriptures often is derived from or points us towards God and Christ. I picked out a handful of these scriptures I want to share with you. 

In John 15, Christ is talking about how He is the vine and we are to be the branches of the vine, His disciples, connected to Him and putting forth good fruits; that “if we keep [His] commandments, [we] shall abide in [His] love…”. Christ tells us this so that we may have His joy to be with us and “that [our] joy might be full”.  

Not only through keeping our covenants with God are we able to feel His joy, but also through service and by submitting our wills to God. Service brings us closer to Christ and fills us with compassion and love for those we are serving. And when filled with love, it’s hard not to also be filled with joy. I’m pretty sure you’d have to actively choose not to accept the joy. Alma tells us in Alma 29:9, (quote)“I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may  be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance, and this is my joy.”  Alma talks a lot about repentance. It is practically impossible to feel the everlasting joy that comes from Christ if we are unwilling to continually repent and improve. I am grateful for a God who is patient as I stumble along. By choosing to turn my thoughts  to Christ, to serve those around me and repent, my soul can be filled with joy. 

I am excited to share this everlasting and pure joy that is found in Christ and His Gospel with the people I meet in South Carolina. I know with my heart that this is good and true. I cannot wait to place my nametag bearing Christs’ name over my heart and testify of Him. His work is beautiful, and I am humbled to have been seen as one worthy to share His Gospel.  I pray that if you do not already know His joy, or feel as if it has slipped away from you, that as you invite Christ into your life you will learn to recognize His joy again. His heart aches when ours are filled with sorrow. I know He is waiting for us to let Him in so we can receive of His Joy. 

I say these things in the Holy name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen.